DRESS FOR SUBVERSION…Halloween is almost here. That’s the time when we get license to dress up in strange costumes and hide behind masks, pretending to be something we really aren’t (or really are). I think this year I’ll dress up like a Catholic bishop. I just love all the ornate, brightly-colored clothing, the long flowing robes, the cool swords—I mean, staffs and crucifixes. Actually, I really don’t know what a bishop dresses like. Maybe I should dress up like THE POPE, you know he’s got the style going on.

I’m gonna see if I’ve got time to trick out a vintage LINCOLN CONTINENTAL and put a bubble top on it so I can cruise down Cannery Row, Ocean Avenue, Main Street, Carmel Valley Road, Highway 1, Reservation Road and up the coast, waving to the adoring throng. Although something tells me that just because I might be dressed up like the Pope, I might not necessarily line the streets with an adoring throng—in fact, the amount of blaspheming in these first two paragraphs might have the streets lined with another type of throng, if you know what I mean. Maybe I’ll just go ahead and dress up like a ballerina, my usual costume.

I’m actually not the biggest fan of Halloween, never have been. I do, however, like to dress up like DRACULA during the rest of the year and knock on people’s doors asking for candy. I’ve had all types of interesting responses while doing that. You should try it, strictly from a sociological information-gathering point of view.

BIG FALL FUN…Played in the Monterey County Hospitality Association Golf Tournament last week at Old Del Monte. Had a blast in the cart with CHRIS “BIG BANG THEORY” MILLS, who was just launching the ball off the tee (where some of them ended up is still being debated by aeronautical engineers). It’s always a fun event with lots of local restaurant/hospitality folks showing up to violently swing metal objects while consuming prodigious amounts of wine, spirits, and cigar smoke.

Back in town from his guest chef spot on Silverseas Cruise Lines, Carmel’s KURT GRASING, owner of both Grasing’s and Carmel Chop House, told me he had a blast over in Europe, cruising the Atlantic coast. He was especially impressed with Portugal, its food, people and wine. Most folks don’t think about Portugal as a wonderful country to find delicious wine. Stop down to say hi to Kurt and hear some stories.

The other night, Sweet Thing and I stopped into Mission Ranch for a late-afternoon cocktail with apps at the bar. Veteran bartender DEE “LIGHTFUL” FINERON is quick with a smile, a quip and a drink and is a delightful steward of your drinking and eating experience. One thing I noticed her doing, which was impressive, was when she was opening a couple of bottles of the house wines, because she knew as the crowd was building she’d get slammed, she only pulled the cork about three-quarters of the way out, without actually allowing any air to get in. Then she could just pull the cork by hand when she needed it, without letting the oxidization process begin. Nice going, Lightful.

PARTY PLANNER…To miss the wonderful wine dinner planned at Garden Bistro in Carmel Valley Village on Thursday, Oct. 26, is foolhardy at best. In addition to some of the freshest, purest ingredients and tastiest food, DAN “SMILIN’ JACK” TUDOR, who turned down the lead role in the life story of CHARLES GRODIN to continue making some of the best Pinots and other wines in California, will be on hand pouring his great wines. It starts at 5:30pm, will be an absolutely fun and fabulous time with a very interesting, eclectic mix of sharp, talented folks.

ROXANNA ROBLES has been strong-mindedly presenting really tasty, top quality food in a delightful Garden Bistro setting and this promises to be just a blast. 659-5020…get on now, go.

Here’s something novel: Sly McFly’s, Monterey’s “Best Club for Blues” the past seven straight years, is offering a late-night menu on Fridays and Saturdays until midnight. Thanks to Jack “Sly” Burnam from all the hungry night owls out there.

ANOTHER HOLIDAY…Octoberfest is a time to really get into the German spirit. At Stammtisch German Restaurant, just off Fremont in Seaside, celebrate with a couple of mugs of Hofbrau Oktoberfest beer from Munich—known as the original brew of Bavarian Kings. You’ll enjoy it royally along with authentic German delicacies like Claudia’s Hausschnitzel. Owners ERWIN AND CLAUDIA MORITZ create a very friendly and hospitable environment for lunch and dinner. Call 899-3070 or stop down.

Don’t forget the last Friday evening of every month at Taste of Monterey is wine-bar time. Stop in for a glass of one of Monterey’s finest in a great setting with friendly people. Live music, appetizers and Ken “Rocky” Rauh too…perfect. Call 646-5446 or e-mail ken@tastemonterey.com.

FAST FUTURE…AIWF (look it up) is doing a “restaurant crawl” on Tuesday, Nov. 7, at Cantinetta Luca in Carmel. It’ll begin next door at Galante Vineyards’ wine tasting room at 6pm, then it’s over to Luca for a $55 prix fixe menu. You’ll be among fellow foodies, winos and fun lovers, plus you’ll get to see Katherine Fink’s latest design sensation—Cantinetta Luca is the most big-city looking restaurant around these parts. Call Sal Gargone, 722-6580,

or e-mail salgargone@aol.com.

Don’t forget Roy’s Winter Festival on Nov. 2 and 3 with Roy Yamaguchi and friends, 647-7500…or the 10th Culinary Classique d’Elegance at Spanish Bay on Nov. 5, to benefit Meals on Wheels…Look for winemakers dinners coming up at Bouchée—Kosta Browne Winery on Nov. 15 and David Arthur Vineyards on Dec. 6…meanwhile be well, be kind, be loving, be cool.