MY EYES, MY EYES… Squid watched in increasing amazement, then concern, then horror, as county supes took to party planning the Monterey Music Summit, which would’ve taken place this Friday through Sunday at Laguna Seca Recreation Area– if county officials hadn’t revealed their fears.

The most horrifying: the 37-year-old rapper who made “fo shizzle” famous and is appearing at scores of venues all summer (and TV every week). Not that the supes were concerned with these qualities; they only saw a long-ago gangster named Snoop Dogg poised to somehow touch off Norteño-Sureño warfare in the Andretti hairpin.

Supes first debated whether to allow him to appear at all, then approved riot-quality security and a search of him, his car and his entourage. They feared The Crystal Method and Filthy Gorgeous Burlesque, envisioning a meth-lab masterminding junta and, Squid imagines, a smut-peddling pack of prostitute offspring. (Had the concert happened, they would’ve seen an electronic-rock-hybrid duo and a talented middle-aged group of ladies conducting cabaret derivatives, respectively.) The county quaked at the proposition of “political activity,” sounding alarm at a list that included Natural Resource Defense Council and Ecology Action. Officials even balked at the planting of trees at Seca to offset carbon outputs, quoting a several-thousand dollar bill for watering.

Meanwhile, major players in the local music industry asked, “Isn’t more music good?”

Squid would love to see promoter Joe Fletcher take more time planning , but Squid really wishes supes would do their homework before cheating constituents of something they want.

ELEPHANT IN DONKEY’S CLOTHING… Squid likes friendly oxymorons, like fried ice cream and clean dirt. But Squid is having a hard time with Ila Mettee-McCutchon’s campaign for county supe.

First, there was the mailer showing her with Slick Willie Clinton, though he didn’t endorse the hard-line Republican. Yes, Mettee-McCutchon got the nod from Seaside Mayor Ralph Rubio and Salinas City Councilmember Janet Barnes, but those Dems serve in non-partisan offices– and have conservative voting records– so how does that translate to the mailer’s claim that “4th District Democratic Leaders Endorse Ila Mettee-McCutchon”?

Then, there was the faux “Voter Information Guide for Democrats” that listed Mettee-McCutchon, along with true-blue Rep. Sam Farr.

Now Squid gets a letter from Byrl Smith, widow of the late supe Jerry Smith, calling Mettee-McCutchon’s opponent, Jane Parker, a liar. The letter alleges Parker twists facts and sends misleading mailers. Squid’s seen plenty of distortion, all right, but none of it by Parker.