APOCALYPSE NOW… September has arrived. With it comes scorching summer days upon a landscape bereft of moisture, dehydrated beyond normal capacity. Our decreasing water index exacerbates the increasing stress levels presented by a societal egosystem gone awry. The lead duck, lame from birth, quacking atop the compost heap of governmental decay, is quietly feeding upon the remaining vestiges of our original democracy, phony-synthesizing history’s philosophically greatest political doctrine into an aberration so far removed from its origins that only hieroglyphic analysis of its faint markings can ever uncover its core value.

Giant mutated corporate multi-celled parasitic oligopolies engorge themselves on Mother Earth’s emaciated teats, sucking clean her dwindling life force, oblivious of their malfunctioning symbiosis and impending self-destruction. All across this world bits of mini parasite from the main body flake off in the form of political “leaders” that immediately implant their suckers deep in whatever host region they drop onto.

Gone are the days of wine and roses– at least in the forms those of us whose minds were nourished on original plant nutrient remember. As we haphazardly carry on our important research into the lives of celebrity moths vacuously fluttering around steadily dimming bright lights of fame, the monster methodically reshapes our world into one giant nest in which it feeds, defecates and reproduces. Why, the very source of our own nourishment, the vessel from which the essence of life on this Earth springs– seeds– are locked in a cage match to the death with the chemical conglomerate tentacles of the deadly monstrosity.

Under the guise of finding solutions for the “increasing demand for food and fuel,” companies like DuPont, Monsanto and that ilk manipulate mamby-pamby principalities into allowing their genetically modified seeds onto farms across fertile fields traversing Earth’s surface– fertile if they were actually allowed to grow without the mono-cropping, chemical fertilizer/pesticide pestilence present in modern corporo-farmopoly, but that’s another part of the same story. We are witnessing a creeping skin disease slowly transforming our globe’s precious epidermal food layer into a scaly outcropping of the beast’s putrid hide.

As recently written on FoodNavigator.com/Europe, “DuPont-owned Pioneer Hi-Bred has opened two seed research centres in Europe in an attempt to deliver higher yielding corn and sunflower hybrids to farmers and ‘meet growing demand for food and fuel’ (italics theirs). DuPont has thrown more than $5 million at two new centres– one in Hungary and one in Italy– and added 10 new research positions to the 25 existing researchers that will transfer to the sites. Field and lab capacity was being added to the two facilities. Iowa-based Pioneer is a leading supplier of European seed corn genetics and is rapidly increasing its sunflower business. “ ‘DuPont is aggressively investing in research and development to increase farmer productivity and extend our leadership position in corn, sunflower and oilseed rape in Europe,’ said the vice president of DuPont Crop Genetics Research and Development, William S. Niebur. “The opening and expansion of these two new research centres continues our commitment to meet the challenges farmers face in Europe and around the world by providing genetic solutions farm-by-farm, field-by-field and hectare-by-hectare.’s”

Maybe all the genetically reconstructed seedlings across the world will turn out to be a benefit to us all. Maybe not. Either way, the seeds have been cast and only time will tell whether we crap out or not.

DRINK IT IN… Phillip Caruthers and Patrick Schrady, a couple of local guys who some have accused of being genetically reengineered, host a weekly radio show titled “Libation Generation” (wish I had thought of that name) on KNRY 1240AM every Tuesday at 4:05pm. Each week they interview important players in the field of, well, libation, from winemakers to spirit mavens like Zole Andahazy (look him up) and more. You can also catch them streaking live and completely nude– I’m sorry, Patrick said that– live and streaming, you can be completely nude, on www.knry.com. Check it out, it’s a fun hour and you can call in and heckle them.

MEET THE GRADUATES… And you thought the folks at the Pebble Beach Company were only interested in golf. John Winfield and Tom Hlasny, wine guys at The Lodge and Spanish Bay, set out on a two-year program to graduate 100 PB employees from the entry-level sommelier program of the International Court of Master Sommeliers. It is rare that any company invests the resources into its staff to upgrade their education. To date, 115 members of the food and beverage departments of PB Co. have graduated. The latest are Alex Cea, Anthony Swanson, Dennis P. Byars III, Diana Wheeler, Eduardo Somoza, Ernesto Alvarado Felix, German Perez, Gretchen Melvin, Hayley McCraney, Jeff Orloff, Jessica Esquenazi, Kelly Hahn, Mark Hermanson, Mary Robbins, Melissa Rudolph, Michael Basset, Michael de los Santos, Michael Rawlings, Rizqi Soeharsono, Stephane Clasquin, Talmon Owens from The Lodge and Adrian E. Giese, Archimedes Pattawi, Brooke A. Williams, Charles Mendez, Chris Harris, Crystal Magana, David Duron, David Sidner, Elizabeth Aquino, Elmer Larios, Gayle Lynn Scoggins, Haskel Moeller, John David Young, Kelci Potter, Lee Ann Hein, Matthew Vavao, Nelson Larios, Olana Sullivan, Perry Yoshida, Sarah Oles, Stephen Donahue, Virgilio Esteybar, William Solley from Spanish Bay… way to go, my fellow winos.