¡Ask A Mexican! for Aug 20, 2009

One man's take on his culture's stereotypes

Story by Gustavo Arellano

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Dear Mexican: My family hasn’t been long in this country, came here because of lousy treatment by other Europeans, and didn’t live close enough to the southern U.S. border to have exposure to Mexico or Mexicans. So, anyone looking down on Mexicans can be mysterious to many of us that have migrated to the Southwest, like myself. My family wasn’t part of the evil done to Mexico and I have no racial or cultural prejudices. If anything, I just don’t want to be clueless. In light of this, am I a gabacho, or is there another term to describe me? –Sin Pista y Confundido

Dear Gabacho: If you don’t think the term applies you can apply for amnesty with the Mexican consulate, but must make a strong case you don’t possess the gabacho mentality of Drinko por Cinco and Carlos Mencia when it comes to Mexicans – and even then, a bribe is a must.

At Catholic Mass recently, I heard the priest read from John 10:1: “Verily, verily, I say unto you, he that entereth not by the door into the sheepfold, but climbeth up some other way, the same is a robber and a thief.” This verse seems to contradict the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, and other Catholic leaders’ long history of encouraging illegal aliens to “entereth not by the door” to the United States, and then promoting “stolen” U.S. citizenship through amnesty. Jesus Christ, by his words here, does not seem to have those same sympathies, now does he, Mexican? --Just Asking

Dear Apostate: Actually, He does. You refer to the Parable of the Sheepfold, and like any good cafeteria Catholic, cherry-pick those parts of the faith that suit you. You fail to mention that Christ was condemning those who tried to misguide His followers. Refry this for a reading: The sheep are the Mexicans, the eternal meek in no further need of salvation. Jesus is the United States, and everyone else is Man. Those who choose to join His sheep go through the gate of historicism that has seen the many sheep Christ/America has accepted and protected throughout the centuries; those who choose to snipe from the sidelines, who insist this country is broken – those are the damned.

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