Follow-up: What’s the best story you’ve made up to get out of work?

A: I get gas and there are cops all checking me out. After I leave, I get pulled over. He pulled me over to ask me out. I said no because he pulled me over to do it.

Hanging Tough: I don’t call in sick. I’ve worked once with appendicitis.

A: I had a transformative experience in a Jersey bar called Ichabods. I planned a road trip there to Key West. When I got there the first bar I went into was called Ichabods.

Good Thinking: Detained by the “man” due to non-compliance with New World Order.

A: All my entertaining stories from the past are too dirty and inappropriate for print in respectable newspapers. I plead the Fifth.

Honest Policy: I haven’t lied to get out of work in like five years. Don’t tell a creative story because it’ll be suspect.