Thursday, November 11, 2010
Dear Dry Gabacho of the North: Why do I cry? What isn’t there to cry for a Mexican man in this country? Besides higher-than-average unemployment rates for us, narco-violence in our patria, horrendous high-school dropout rates for our kids, too many mexicanas marrying gabachos, and Mexico losing badly in the FIFA World Cup, an hombre’s life right now is miserable. But you know what? We’re not afraid to llorar y llorar, as the great Vicente Fernández wailed. Sure, most of the crying refers to some ingrata with saucer eyes and chichis worthy of Brazzers.com, and the flip side of macho is vulnerability. Finally? You say gabachos don’t advertise when they cry, which probably means you think Frank Sinatra circa In the Wee Small Hours was a pussy – and if you do, you have no sense of manhood, son!Dear Mexican: I’ve been hired to find out why some clothes are not being returned to patients at a nursing home in Newport Beach, California, even though these clothes are marked. I went down to the lavadero as a place to start my investigation and watched some señoras jóvenes selecting clothes that they put in their armarios or coches. I know that stealing from anyone, whether they are rich or poor, is incorrect, but part of me understands why they do it. My idea was to be employed as a deaf lavandera and just listen to what was going on around me, then I would take my findings to the administration. After explaining what I think is happening, I’d ask for a raise for the señoras jóvenes. ¿Son mis aspiraciones/sueños demasiado altos? Will any of this help? -Jefita
Dear Wabette: Are your aspirations/dreams too high? What do you think? You want to play-act as a sorda, rat out the laundry workers, and then ask they receive a raise? You really don’t think the bosses will fire them, or even call immigration? And trying to justify robbing viejitos and the sick? I don’t care how poor a Mexican is – a good Mexican honors the elderly and enfermos. Only a cretin would steal from them.