Dear Mexican: I’m a blanquita, and I’ve recently begun dating a caliente mexicano. The first time we were intimate, I noticed his necklace (which I had always assumed to be a rosary) was a name necklace… a woman’s name necklace. He says his mami gave it to him just before he left the country. Is this a likely scenario? I ask because a Mexican man burned me in the past; after two years of dating, he told me he had a wife in Mexico. I really like this man, but he’s wearing a necklace that says “Rosa.” What’s your take? Asustada al Amor


Dear Scared at Love: What’s that saying you gabachos have? “Fool me once, pendejo eres tú; fool me twice, el pendejo soy yo?” Anyhoo, the only mom that hombres wear around their neck is scapulars of the Virgin of Guadalupe, so “Rosa” is quite obviously the guy’s chica back in the rancho. You’re probably not his first sancha, which means he’ll cheat on you, también. It’s as inevitable as Mexicans migrating to el Norte.


I am thinking about doing grad school. Throughout my college career I played the Hispanic race card for financial aid and a decent internship. Should I apply and bet on my average G.P.A., or play the race card again and remind them of the low number of Mexicans in engineering graduate programs, along with all the trials and tribulations of La Raza? Usando lo que Puedo


Dear Using What I Can: I’m going to call bullshit, and you know why? Too many red banderas. Only Know Nothings capitalize the term la raza when using the term to refer to Mexicans (as opposed to the shorthand used when referring to the National Council on La Raza), and they also make the mistake of conflating “Hispanic” with “race.” I also refuse to believe that anyone so openly cynical about affirmative action would exploit the very system they decry, since the people I know who are skeptical about the program avoid it altogether; you, on the other hand, come off as incredibly selfish at best, pathological at worst. On the off chance you’re legit, though, my advice is to play the affirmative-action card: any college administrator will look at your middling grades and still reject you, Mexican or not, and give the slot to another Mexican who is deserving, affirmative action or not.