Dear Mexican: I think I have a Mexican problem. I have a home in sunny California on a property with an abundance of agave cactus and Century plants growing along the street. Every year for the past twenty years, five to ten cactus leaves (three to four feet in length) are cut from the base of the plants that are in front closest to the street. This occurs several times a year prior to holidays. The huge plants with slashed leaves are a visual blight. I have posted numerous respectful signs such as “No Hunting Cactus Leaves – Private Property,” but to no avail. ¿Qué puedo hacer? - Cactus Culero


Dear Gabacho: Of course it’s a Mexican problem – while gabachos like yourself use such plants as ornamentals, Mexicans have long revered the agave for its many uses – as a sweetener, for making tequila and teas, creating ropes out of the fibers, etc. And don’t forget that each leaf, if properly cared for, will sprout in into its own plant. You really can’t do much to stop the thievery. Mexicans pick all crops and plants before them as a matter of habit given that’s been our American-requested mandate in this country from Día One.


Americans who like tacos, salsa and Mexican beaches does not translate into Americans wanting undocumented Mexicans crossing our borders to work here, bringing in disease/drugs/crime and receiving welfare benefits. Who in their right mind would want to live under Mexican law and culture? Why aren’t you and your amigos bashing Mexico and its government for the disgraceful treatment of its people? Just because we enjoy tequila and fajitas does not mean we want to live under corrupt Mexican culture, or get ripped off daily by having our tax money going to Mexicans’ welfare benefits! - Wasting Away in Margaritaville


Dear Gabacho: No one has ever said that a gabacho love for Mexican products translates into a gabacho want for more Mexicans. Gabachos have tried their darndest to remove Mexicans from the equation of consuming Mexican culture, and have done an amazing job at it – just look at chili, then move on to your bar’s Drinko for Cinco celebration. It’s a concept academics call appropriation, but the rest of us call hipocresía.