Dear Mexican: Why do Mexican soccer fans chant “Osama! Osama!” when their side plays the United States? You don’t hear American soccer fans yell “¡La migra!” _ White Boy Dash


Dear Gabacho: You think hurling bin Laden’s name is tasteless? This is soccer we’re talking about, not Wimbledon. Offensive jeers are part of the game, and anyone who can’t take the heat should leave la cocina. Jingoism is the main reason fútbol is the world’s most popular sport: Countries and regions can spill their aggression toward one another out on the pitch and in the stands instead of on the battlefield. That’s why Mexicans love to trash the United States when the two countries play. Ustedes exploit us, humiliate us, dominate us in every socioeconomic category, even beat us in soccer – the United States has finally become Mexico’s worthy adversary instead of perpetual whipping boy. So instead of wielding knives, our best revenge is the clever insult, the well-timed chinga tu madre whistle, and the beer poured upon Landon Donovan as he triumphantly exits the stadium. 


Why do the Mexicans HATE American soccer and Landon Donovan? - Uncle Sam’s Army Brat


Dear Gabacho: Because Mexicans hate Americans – DUH! Geez, this is the literary equivalent of taking a penalty kick with no goaltender – but I also want to plug Gringos at the Gate, an upcoming documentary answering this question with footage and interviews with Mexican and American fútbol fanatics, former soccer stars and your humble scribe. I gave your question un cabezazo over to director Pablo Miralles, who delivered a bicycle kick of an answer: “The average American doesn’t give a s* about fútbol, so how can they be as good or even better than us Mexicans, who are the most passionate and loyal fans? As for Donovan, Mexicans will say that the hatred comes from when, in 2004, he pissed on the field of the sacred Estadio Jalisco. But the truth, I believe, is that when he won the Golden Boot at the 1999 Under-17 World Cup and later the Best Young Player at the 2002 World Cup, the realization for Mexican fans set in that, for the first time, the best player on the field when the United States played Mexico was NOT a Mexican.” Pablo, your answer was a GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!