Dear Mexican: I’m a white girl dating a Mexican from Jalisco that works for my dad. There lies the problem. Dad absolutely dislikes him andtotally opposes me dating Ignacio and has been almost rude to him, which I don’t like. Ignacio and I have hit it off from the beginning, so I feel it was totally natural to start dating him, even if he lives in a not-so-nice place and we have different backgrounds.

My father has started to behave like a drama queen, saying he was disappointed, that he thought he raised a good, decent girl and such things. I had no option but call him a racist and sore loser, which I’m sorry now to have said. Dad lectures me about me not worrying “about my future” and that I’m “losing it over a beaner,” makes a scene many times when I’m going out with Ignacio and calls my cell phone often to “check out what I’m doing.” He justifies his behavior because I’m his only daughter and says he wants the “best for me” (read: date a white guy). It gets complicated because Ignacio says one day he’s gonna lose patience and answer back my Dad, or worse. What canI do to handle Dad’s dramas? - Una Confused Gringa

Dear Gabacha: So Nacho is good enough to work for your papi, but not good enough for his daughter? Typical gabacho exploiter… I would flaunt the relationship. Change your name to Xochitl. Blast mariachi in your home. Make your tortillas by hand – better yet, start eating nopales. Totally freak out your dad! But at the same time, be a responsible chica – you didn’t specify your age, but given your reference to getting driven to the mall and still living at home, I’ll assume you’re in high school. So stay away from sex – but if you do, make sure to use birth control, because Mexican sperm is potent. Keep up your grades. Show Dad that your life won’t worsen if a Mexi is your man, and that he’s pendejo for even thinking about it. And remind him that frowning on interracial relationships is so Jim Crow era, and to get with the programa.

Why do you frijoleros assume that white people don’t speak Spanish? You would not believe the crap I hear almost every day! We spoke Spanish when the Mexica were still ripping out the hearts of their neighbors. - El Cid Soy

Dear Gachupín: A Spaniard who thinks he’s white? HA! You gachupines are as gabacho as Mexicans are infertile.