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Food Blog

Getting Realer (For Real) in the Whole Foods Parking Lot: An Exclusive

A lot like slow loris getting tickled, I loved "It's About to Get Real in the Whole Foods Parking Lot" YouTube at first glance, as I discussed the other day. Only more.

Then I discovered I've known one of its main collaborators for more than a decade.

That led to some fun exclusives, including a listen to the unreleased extended version of "It's Getting Real in the Whole Foods Parking Lot" and an early tip-off to the first YouTube trash-talking reply ("Revenge of the Black Prius"), which appears below, followed by some other thoughts and a bonus rap ditty called "Food Fight."

You can’t spell identity without a “d,” “i,” “e” and “t.” We are what we eat. And right now, a lot of us are eating at Whole Foods—this year alone Weekly readers voted the Monterey outlet (333-1600) their favorite grocery store, organic outlet and place for take-out—which helps speak to why a video parodying life at the upscale healthy grocer has gone wildly viral, flying past 2.5 million views on all the various platforms.

Image In fact, “It’s Getting Real in the Whole Foods Parking Lot” earned the collective behind the video, known as Fog and Smog, the chance to open a show for the Godfather of Rap, Oakland’s Too Short, in Hollywood just last Sunday.

Image Like many, I am powerless to resist DJ Dave lyrics like “these fools with clipboards are looking at me like they know me” and “this dude tried to steal [my parking spot] going the wrong way/ Yo man, I’ve had a long day.”

Or “This buster’s on his iPhone talking to his friends/ picking up some cayenne pepper for his master cleanse/ You’re the most annoying dude I’ve ever seen, brah/ Could you please move? You’re right in front of the quinoa.”

Image But another reason to love it lurked below the surface: The man who shot and co-directed the tight-and-tidy vid, George Woolley, is one of my best friends from college.

In fact, before going on to produce for MTV and Yahoo!, the Berkeley native helped me pass a musicology class when we recorded a rap song together in my dorm building’s laundry room.

He’s not a bad chef himself—he does a mean carne asada—but he's better wordsmith (wait till you hear his rap song “Food Fight,” which I’ve linked to below).

“About 40 percent of the kids who go to Berkeley High, where Andy Samberg also went, record—or try to record—a rap song,” Woolley says.

I asked him what the video says about our relationship with the high-cost, high-quality Whole Foods.

“A lot of it has to do with the times,” he says. “There are tie-ins to state of economy, the foodie movement, and people taking themselves seriously on that…but mostly I think the song was written by a guy who understands the foodie genre: He’s from Berkeley, too. Then there’s a confluence of comedy, hip-hop and social commentary and little dose of cool factor—you know, knowing what hip-hop video is supposed to look like.”

Besides, Woolley adds, he can identify with trying to find a doable Pinot there for under $20, as DJ Dave raps...

"Some girl in yoga pants is looking at me funny/ I'm just trying to find a decent Pinot Noir for under 20/ Then I take it to the cheese counter—Humboldt Fog/ 'We just ran out sir' Really, dog?'/ Take it easy I try to calm myself/ I've been on edge since they took kombucha off the shelf."

Interestingly, Woolley reports Humboldt Fog and GT’s Kombucha loved their shout-outs so much they sent Fog and Smog “literally half a refrigerator” of cheese and several cases of fermented tea.

And that's a rap. The aforementioned final bonus...

One more fun food-rap exclusive for the people: "Food Fight," another George Woolley (stage name Glock) original production.

“Damn I’m bout to check out,” DJ Dave raps. “Pay my $80 for six things and get the heck out.”

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